“Just be yourself” is one of the most used phrases to comfort myself. Not just me, but most of my friends will use this phrase to reassure anyone facing hesitation, trouble, and insecurity.

The problem is that we never want to be ourselves. We want to be someone else. We want to be that man who can travel around the world. We want to be that charming girl who is passionate about her life.

In the end, what we want is to make meaning with our life. We’re afraid that we can’t achieve anything in this lifetime. We’re too scared to admit that we’ve been wasting our life.

I also want to live a life full of meaning. But what is the meaning I’ve been searching for all this time? Is it the money? Is it the passion? Is it the love?

Life is not an exam where you need to put an answer on the paper. Life is the stream of a river where you follow along and make adjustment along the way. You can’t stop the flow, but you can choose how you flow. Stop chasing who is in front of you. Instead, focus on making yourself a better person.

I’m just an ordinary person who sometimes feel insecure with myself. By realizing this, I know that I can’t change myself instantly in few days. It requires a process with small changes over time. Instead of becoming myself, I try to bring out my best self. This self we’re talking about will grow over time, and might stop growing.

The choice is yours.

Will you become your best self? Someone that no longer feel insecure with what you have and feel satisfied with everything you’ve done within your ability? Or will you become someone who constantly feel anxious and dissatisfied with himself while searching for the meaning of life endlessly?

I’m no longer searching for the meaning of life. I flow along the river, begin to pay attention to the scenery around me. When there are opportunities to try something I love, I’ll go for it. When the situation doesn’t allow, I’ll follow along and keep looking around until there is a chance for me to do so.

I’ve done everything within my ability to bring out my best current self. The only thing I can do right now is to enjoy the present.